Today If someone is having a bad day refrain from saying "cheer up its not like its the end of the world" lol
I just realized no matter how nice your father-in-law is, he'll always hate you a little for banging his daughter.
When do I know I'm a full adult? Is it when I buy a house, or when I stop substituting popcorn for a meal?
Nothing gets me closer to murder than pedestrians who are out pacing me while I sit in traffic.
I wonder if Tiger Woods' parents met at a Black Thai affair.
Society needs both optimists and pessimists. For example, an optimist invented the airplane while a pessimist invented the parachute.
I'm not so much anti-social as I am pro-being left alone.