Funny Statuses

Seriously contemplating remarrying my ex wife, but I'm pretty sure she'll figure out that I'm just after my money
#16157
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Florida
Entered what I ate today into my new fitness app and it just sent an ambulance to my house.
#16186
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Florida
I learn from the mistakes of people who took my advice.
Spiders are the only web developers that are happy to find bugs.
I don't really WANT to make bad choices; but I'm always late, and all the good choices are already taken..
#16672
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Xyuppi
Not to brag or anything, but I don't need alcohol to make really bad decisions.
So apparently RSVP-ing to a wedding invite with "Maybe next time" wasn't the best response. Who knew?
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