Double-Stuffed Oreos should just be called Oreos, and regular Oreos should be called Diet Oreos.
If anyone's interested, I'll be signing books today at Barnes & Noble from 3 pm until I'm removed by security.
Dear girls who have been dumped, There are plenty of fish in the sea... Just kidding! They're all dead. Sincerely, BP
I'm not saying she's a slut, but if her vagina was a video game it would be rated E for everyone.
Tim Tebow is the most talked about white Bronco since the OJ chase.
Whenever somebody tells me a knock-knock joke, I sit there quietly and pretend that I'm not home until they leave.
I hate waiting in lines. I wish this lady would hurry up and pick a suspect already.