Funny Statuses

Leaving your turn signal on while driving is the road form of leaving your fly unzipped.
#2618
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Dave Asten
There must be a trick to fighting fire with fire because my kitchen just pretty much has twice as much fire now.
Actually, I WOULD wish that on my worse enemy.
#2800
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Cyberbilly
The answer to the Westboro Baptist Church protests of military funerals is to aim the 21 gun salute at them.
I find Girls are a lot like universities. I spend hours looking at them, only to realize I can't get into any of them.
#2957
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Cyberbilly
Shall I compare thee to a Summer's Eve? For thou art a douche.
The highest state of defense readiness in the US is DEFCON 1. More commonly known by women as: "I'm fine."
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