I don't care what they say, the first guy who milked a cow and drank it was a massive pervert.
I look at people sometimes and think..for real? That's the sperm that won?
Going to McDonalds for salad is like going to a prostitute for a hug.
Cyberbilly
Remember: No matter how bad your life is, there is someone who has to clean the bathrooms at Taco Bell.
I don't understand banks. How they have chains on their pens, I'm trusting them with money so why don't they trust me with pens?
If you have a headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle: Take two, and KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN
People who make medicine clearly have no idea what fruit taste like.