I worry someone has already tweeted a cure for cancer but there was a typo so we just sighed and moved on
FACT: Vampires aren't on Tumblr because they can't take pictures of themselves in front of a mirror.
An autobiography without punctuation is a life sentence
Does running away from your problems count as exercising?
Why did the adults get so mad on 'Scooby Doo?' A bunch of stoned teenagers & A DOG solved YOUR poorly thought out plan. Take some ownership.
The shaking from the earthquake today on the east coast was convenient because I had just finished peeing.
Don't tell us about that crappy song that's stuck in your head because that means it's stuck in our heads now too, you monster.