To all those that received a book from me as a Christmas present... they are due back at the library today.
A Day Without Sunshine Is Like, You Know, Night.
If you ask Lebron James for a dollar he'll give you 75 cents, but he never gives you the 4th quarter.
Hey Starbucks. If you gotta name your drinks with stupid language, don't roll your eyes when I order a gitchy gitchy yaya yaya mocha choca latte ya ya
If Wyle E Coyote had enough cash to buy all that ACME crap why didnt he just buy dinner?
Whenever a bird poops on my car I eat a plate of scrambled eggs on my front porch just to let them know what I'm capable of.
69% of people are able to find something dirty in every sentence.