Getting a group of friends to pick a place to eat is like a game of 20 questions where no one knows the answer.
Picking Yoshi in Mario Kart before your friends did was the jr. high version of calling "Shotgun"
Dave Asten
My favorite part about the Presidential debate on TV was when I realized I have over 500 other channels to watch.
Rick Astley will let you borrow any movie from his Pixar movie collection except for one. he's never gonna give you Up
I'm not saying not to trust the internet, but there's an alarming discrepancy between the number of iPads I've won & the number of iPads I own.
I make seven figures but the first two are zero.
How can people lift weights? My arms get tired just by putting my hair in a ponytail...