Funny Statuses

I'll bet Chinese alphabet soup is very filling.
I don't do a lot of good deeds, but when I walk past a well, I always stop and make sure there's not a kid stuck down there.
Facebook should have a limit on the number of times you can change your relationship status. After 3 or so it should default to "Unstable".
I won’t take a bullet for anyone because if I have time to jump in front of a bullet, you have time to move.
He broke her heart. She broke his X-Box. I think we all know who cried harder.
You are not Pinocchio, lying isn't going to make it bigger.
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