The first word I want to teach my kid is "brains". Then, until he/she learns another word, I'll have the cutest little zombie ever!
Taylor Rhorer
Whenever I see a bruised apple at the market, I give it a soft hug and gently whisper "Who did this to you?"
I don’t understand banks. Why do they attach chains to their pens? If I’m trusting you with my money, you should trust me with your pens.
The hardest part about going to Hypochondriacs Anonymous is admitting that you don't have a problem.
Bored? Simply send a text message to a random number saying..."I'm Pregnant!"
Apparently, Twilight is “so popular” because teenagers can relate to it. “Oh yeah, I remember that time when I was a Vampire."
Stalking is where two people go on a long, romantic walk together but only one of them knows about it.