I just spent hours connecting all of my watches together to make a belt. It was a complete waist of time.
Cris
The best things in life can't be seen or touched. At least, that's what the restraining order says.
Amigo
I hate when new parents ask who the baby looks like. It was born 15 minutes ago, it looks like a potato.
Scientists have yet to explain how 300 people can be working at a Wal-Mart but only 4 registers will be open.
Florida
"Don't make me regret this." -things I think when accepting a friend request.
The last time I was someone's type, I was donating blood.
Xyuppi
If you’re arguing loudly on your cell in public, please put it on speaker. I need to hear both side of the story.