Amigo
Just found this new app that tells you which of your family members are racist. It's called Facebook.
Always bring a nail file, scissors, tweezers, a corkscrew, a toothpick and a bottle opener to a knife fight. - The Swiss Army
I'm trying to master the art of eating a powdered doughnut, without looking like I just got back from Charlie Sheen's house.
I'm gonna name my son Wussell so people think he has a speech impediment.
Cyberbilly
I'm not saying I hate you, but I'd unplug your life support to charge my phone.
I drive safer when there's food on my passenger seat than when there's a person sitting there.
Not sure if I want buns of steel, or buns of cinnamon.