Hyperbole is my favorite literary device, I use it like 600 times a day!
Cyberbilly
I hear someone screaming. That's the last time I buy duct tape at the Dollar Store.
No way the guy from Operation is insured for any of those ridiculous medical procedures.
Group Therapy: listening to ALL your voices.
My doctor told me to watch my drinking. So I’m off to find a bar with a mirror.
If my job was to browse the internet and play on my phone, I don't know what I'd do to slack off, but I'm sure I'd find something.
I can tell how uncomfortable a person is just by hugging them for 18 minutes