Funny Statuses

"Twister kills 15 in Oklahoma." They must take that game way too seriously...
Dear person reading this, just want you to know that someone cares about you. It's not me, but I'm sure someone does...
Hey Blockbuster, remember when I said you'd never get that $5 late fee? I win.
The power went out, thus no internet, couldn't use laptop, watch t.v, ipad went dead. It was raining so I couldn't fish or golf. I spent 5 hours talking to the wife. Turns out she's a very nice lady.
#8545
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Amigo
A movie ticket for a baby should cost at least $50.
#8654
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Amigo
I hate people who use big words just to make themselves look perspicacious.
#14675
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Novell
My boss really hates that I shortened his name to Dick.... Especially since his name is Steve
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