I wonder who the first person was to look at a beehive and think, "those bastards are hiding something delicious in there, I know it!"
I used to sell security alarms door to door, and I was really good at it. If no one was home, I would just leave a brochure on the kitchen table.
The key to life is balance, especially if you are on a ledge.
Mother Earth must be getting senile...April showers are NOT supposed to bring May showers!
Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils ... - Louis Hector Berlioz
Ladies. What's with smelling like different fruits all the time? Do you see men eating a lot of fruit? ...try barbecue sauce
I want to wear glasses just so I can take them off and rub my eyes with my palms in exasperation when someone says something stupid.