I admire the commitment of girls who paint their eyebrows on. How do you pick one facial expression for the whole day? What if you find a penny?
I know this sounds crazy, but I like the idea better of a Zombie Apocalypse better than the rapture. #JustSayin
If you stole a cigarette from your dad and he made you smoke a whole pack while he watched, I hope he never caught you stealing a playboy.
I bet if a bike helmet and a condom met at a cocktail party they'd instantly become friends. "We're good ideas. Why does no one like us?"
I bet if Bigfoot and Waldo ever tried to play hide-and-seek, the world would explode.
Actions speak louder than words but no one understood my interpretive dance and I had to get the salt shaker myself.
You'd think Tigger and Eeyore would have traded some of their meds