It still amazes me that you need a license to catch a fish but any twit can be a parent.
There's no such thing as an automatic door. Just gentlemen ninjas.
They should change the name of "Disney Channel" to "Celebrity Pre-Rehab".
Hey verification code, I have no idea what the hell that says but I swear I'm human.
I tried to share a meal with a homeless guy I saw sitting on a bench last night. He told me to get lost and buy my own.
I am starting to consider "natural beauty", anything taken without instagram.
I'm a perfectionist with a procrastinator complex. Some day I'm gonna be awesome.