Did anyone notice how in Harry Potter, the soul-eating Dementors never went for Ron.
A walk in the woods helps me relax and release tension. The fact that I'm dragging a body behind me should be irrelevant
I think the discovery channel should be on a different channel every day.
Most meteorologists are men. That's why when they say we're going to get 6-8" of snow, we only get 2 or 3.
Sure, beep at me when my car breaks down. The horn might transform me into a magical unicorn that hauls it away.
It's taken me awhile, but I think I'm finally ready to accept that it's not butter.
You offer someone a sincere compliment on their mustache and suddenly she's not your friend anymore.