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#2075
Most of the day I try to avoid clocks, because I can't look at them without calculating how much longer until I can leave.
Funny
121
Insightful
32
WTF?
28
GTFO!
40
#2078
I'm training my inner voice to sound like Morgan Freeman.
Funny
115
Insightful
11
WTF?
49
GTFO!
34
#2079
I got arrested today for feeding some homeless guys on the street, and to top it all off, the cops broke my potato gun.
Funny
144
Insightful
8
WTF?
36
GTFO!
63
#2221
The reason it's called Mother Nature is because if it were Father Nature the weather would be a lot more predictable.
Funny
116
Insightful
17
WTF?
31
GTFO!
35
#2322
A relationship without trust is like a phone with no service. What do you do with a phone with no service? You play games.
Funny
142
Insightful
66
WTF?
37
GTFO!
61
#2566
If guns don't kill people, people kill people. Does that mean toasters dont toast toast toast toasts toast?
Funny
187
Insightful
39
WTF?
161
GTFO!
106
#2622
Dave Asten
95% of all Fords sold in the last 20 years are still on the road today. The other 5% actually made it home.
Funny
144
Insightful
21
WTF?
48
GTFO!
63
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