Do magazines really have to add "Alive" to "Sexiest Woman" or am I just grossly underestimating the number of necrophiliacs in the world?
Alcohol won’t solve your problems, but neither will milk or orange juice.
If you are physically bullied, the best thing to say is "no, no, no don't do that. You'll give me an erection"
There should be an eject button in my car for people who touch my perfectly positioned vents.
I stopped believing for just a few minutes. Now Journey is all pissed at me.
Cyberbilly
The final Twilight movie and Lincoln both opened the same weekend. One is about a shameful, dark chapter in our history we hope never will be repeated. The other is about a president.
There is NO WAY that Bert and Ernie are gay. They haven't changed their outfits in 25 years.