Cyberbilly
I don't mind going to work. It's that eight-hour wait to go home that bugs me.
Cyberbilly
Note to vegetarians: My food poops on your food. Enjoy that salad!
Michael Mendoza
Careful Girls, fat guys just want to get in your pantries.
Ladies, if a man says he will fix it, he will. There's no need to remind him every 6 months about it.
My wife says "camping is a tradition in my family". It was a tradition in everyone's family until we invented houses...
I am 25, but, when I am called "sir," I always interpret it as an acknowledgement of British nobility. To which I always respond "Thank you, peasant."
If you're ever held at gun point, just remember, I'm behind you 100%.