Found a cigarette butt next to the mousetrap on my patio. Like he sat there and thought about it.
Cyberbilly
The show "Toddlers and Tiaras" was named that way because "Strippers in Training" and "Mothers with Self-esteem Issues" just wasn't as catchy.
Alcohol is really just the liquid version of Photoshop.
The length of an essay should be like a woman's mini-skirt. Long enough to cover the subject, but short enough to keep it interesting.
Paused Willy Wonka and The Chocolate Factory to go buy a Snickers. This is why I can't watch Breaking Bad.
The truth is, I find it very stressful that Smokey thinks that I'm the only one that can prevent forest fires. I don't feel trained for this, and I certainly didn't sign up for the position.
The problem with the world is that the intelligent people are full of doubts while the stupid people are full of confidence.