Whoever said nothing was impossible has obviously never tried to staple water to a tree.
I get as much action as a white crayon.
Dear middle finger, thanks for always standing up for me.
People say I'm crazy, I feel like I'm just a fruit loop in a world full of cheerios.
Don't worry about what people think. They don't do it that often.
You don't know how difficult it is searching for your ex's killer. You spend every single day looking and every night hoping that, one day, just by chance, someone will do it.
Just saw a doctor eating an apple. My whole life is a lie.