Funny Statuses

The number 5 is like an honorary even number.

I went to an Italian restaurant named Bulimia. The line at the bathroom was incredibly long.

I am not saying my golf game went bad, but if I grew tomatoes, they’d come up sliced.

My blood test came back as B+ Any tips how I can get an A+ next time?

Futons are the most disappointing Transformers ever.

I don't know why I ever signed up for Facebook. I mean like seriously, this dating website sucks!

I bet they don’t play ‘the floor is lava’ in Hawaii.