Funny Statuses

I think I need to go back and delete some really awful cold hearted resist statuses nobody likes. So not to offend anyone if you can all In-box me your passwords that would great.
Surgery beds are basically cutting boards for humans.
#16888
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PizzaDr
If you ever wanted to use Starbucks wifi for hours and hours without buying anything, today is your lucky day.
I run a non-profit company. It's not for a good cause or anything, I'm just not very good at business.
Drinking from a straw is the opposite of snorkeling.
Ostriches can’t fly, but mostly because they can’t figure out airline luggage rules.
If the paleo diet works so well, why did the Flintstones need vitamins?
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