Lots of people waiting in lines today. Did a new iPhone just come out?
Look up procrastinator on Wikipedia and you'll see a picture of me. Well there isn’t yet, but there will be. Probably by tomorrow. Maybe Tuesday.
What is it about being blind that makes people want to walk their dog all the time?
PizzaDr
I'm running out of reasons to call into work. Do you think "emergency circumcision" is a good excuse?
Aw cheer up Mike Pence. Getting booed isn't the worst thing to happen to a Republican at a theater.
Xyuppi
If men could choose the gender of their unborn children, the human race would die out in a single generation, but we'd get a few decades of incredible football.
Xyuppi
All I want for Christmas is an air hockey table. It will go great with my air guitar.