Zebras are just horses that escaped from prison.
I was going to go to the movies today, but the theater is closed because the owner died. The funeral will be held tomorrow at 12:30....2:15....4:45....and 7:20.
I'm not depressed. I'm really happy and suffer from emotional dyslexia.
With a top speed of 27.44 mph, it is illegal for Usain Bolt to run in a school zone.
"It's not a pyramid scheme" is a phrase almost exclusively used by people involved in pyramid schemes
I'd share my Netflix login but I'm too embarrassed by "My List".
Don't ask me how old I am on my birthday. It'll make me feel old and hate myself rather than be happy that it's my birthday.