This economy sure has me on a tight budget. I gotta start cutting even more corners. Anybody know where I can get some reusable toilet paper?
Every year I stay single, my life gets closer and closer to a real life Kathy comic.
It's okay to skip leg day as long as you skip all the other days too
If my computer desktop were an actual place, they would bring in blindfolded people to make a Febreeze commercial.
Kissing with morning breath is more intimate than sex.
I'm gonna start a band called the "Sigmund Freuds". The drummer is gonna have phallic cymbals.
Cyberbilly
If one of Santa's helpers takes a picture of himself in the mirror, is it an Elfie?