Twerking should be redefined as "tweeting while at work"
Terry Burcham
The world would be a cleaner place if we gave blind people brooms instead of canes...
A garbage disposal is just a device for finishing off all the food no one else in the house will eat.
A great thing about Indian food is that the next day I get to read twice as much!
Amigo
Today's Horoscope: You're gullible.
Enjoy the Twitter IPO. I'm hitting up the MySpace yard sale.
I can't wait to get one of those self-driving cars to watch my wife argue with it.