Funny Statuses

My strategy is "accidentally" rolling the dice into my opponent's armies when the jerk fortifies Australia in Risk.
Spoon had a gleam that just made fork swoon. Spoon wooed fork 'neath a bright autumn moon. Stork brought them spork in the middle of June.
What's this g-mail? I just got used to e-mail. And why did they skip f-mail?
I have a statuesque physique. Like a porcelain Buddha.
Some are scared of self driving cars but I’m fairly certain I could throw a Slap Chop behind the wheel & it would be safer than some people.
This message will self destruct in.........................................................It's still here huh?
Have you ever seen an alien? I have, because I picked up 5 of them outside of Home Depot this morning to build me a shed
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