I'm 16 and a virgin, where's my show?
Travis Lindsay
If I was any hungrier right now Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie would adopt me.
If people could hear the next five seconds after I hit end on a call, I would all have no friends.
While wearing a bikini you show 90% of your body, but men are so polite, that they stare only at the covered places.
Cyberbilly
Dear Microsoft: If you had called your search engine Bang instead of Bing, you'd have destroyed Google. What would you rather say? "I just Googled Catherine Zeta Jones" or "I just Banged Catherine Zeta Jones"?
I saw a man at the beach yelling "Help, shark! Help!" I just laughed, I knew that shark wasn't going to help him.
Toilet paper is a lot like money... You never seem to have any when you need it most!