Give me liberty, or give me death! Preferably liberty, though. Death sounds kinda scary.
Words with Friends sounds so hard. Not the words part, the friends part.
Tim Tebow has been traded to the Jets. Every time he gets on one knee in New York, he'll be praying that he doesn't get mugged.
My girlfriend used to date a clown before we dated. So I have some pretty big shoes to fill.
Hundreds of kids are shipped off to Mime Boarding School every year, never to be heard from again.
An economist is just someone who's job is to make a weatherman look accurate.
Actually, the guy who paid for the first prostitute must've had the world's oldest profession.