Barely passed my physical. Didn't pass my mental.
I'm wearing headphones not because I am listening to music, but because I don't want you bothering me at work.
I think I wasted my 15 minutes of fame trying to save money on car insurance.
Is the Hallmark Channel for people who got a greeting card and said, "Wow, I could watch a half hour of this!"?
I will not tell anyone you said, "Hi."
Looks like my get rich painfully slow scheme isn't working either.
The kids these days have Twitter instead of Facebook when your parents have it too. No one wants to see dad poking mom!