Funny Status Ideas

I want the job where you push scared skydivers out of planes.

In addition to "most recent" or "top stories" I wish Facebook had a sort option for the "drama of the day"

Ever go to a 24 hour Walmart? By 2:00am it looks like the Cantina bar scene in Star Wars.

Last night I had a pillow fight using my memory foam pillow. It's a fight I'll never forget.

Recoil is just when the bullet shoots the gun at you.

No one would ever know if a tree chirped like a bird.

Ravioli are just meat gushers.