Funny Status Ideas

For the suicidal, procrastination is a survival skill.

I was raised as an only child, which really annoyed my sister.

Random Fact of the Day: The phrase "the truth shall set you free" does not apply to murder.

If you think your boss is stupid, remember, you wouldn't have a job if he was any smarter.

Sex-ed classes in school should just be listening to a baby cry for six straight hours while watching The Wiggles on repeat.

Pavlov’s hair wasn’t always silky. He had to condition it.

Wanna know what living in Florida is like? Take a hot shower. Don't dry off. Put on all your clothes