Funny Status Ideas

I am having a weird day, first I found a hat full of money, then I got chased by a guy with a guitar.

A tub of margarine fell on my foot 3 weeks ago and it still hurts. I can’t believe it’s not better.

I have a step ladder. I never knew my real ladder, but my step ladder raised me.

In Ancient Rome, there were 4 types of poison. Poisons I, II, and III would all kill you with varying degrees of pain. However, Poison IV would just make you really itchy.

It was Hope Hicks, in the Rose garden, with the virus

I looked at the keyboard earlier and I noticed 'U' & 'I' are together...it's meant to be! Then I looked underneath it and it said JK.

The winner of the first Presidential debate is...Tylenol Extra Strength!