Funny Status Ideas

Scientists who want to discover faster than light travel should study cats when they hear the sound of a can opener.
I've been meaning to buy more post-it notes, but I can't think of a way to remind myself...
Most of being a dad is just remembering to say “hustle” instead of “hurry.”
#17238
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Xyuppi
‪I need a tax person who’s not afraid of prison. ‬
Diet tip: your pants will never get too tight if you don’t wear any.
Remember the episode when Aunt Becky and Uncle Jesse were involved in a pre-school admissions scandal? I guess life does imitate art.
#17235
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ZYuppi
Ironically, abbreviation is an unnecessarily long word.
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