Funny Status Ideas

Tables are made so we don’t eat on the floor. Tablecloths were made so we don’t eat on the table. Place mats were made so we don’t eat off of the tablecloth. Plates were made so we don’t eat off the place mats.

Remember, when you sneeze and fart at the same time, it is just your body taking a screenshot.

Last month we labatomized some pumpkins. Y'all ready to shove some bread up a turkeys butt?

Just to be clear. The Grinch never really hated Christmas. He hated people, which is fair.

Good camo pants are hard to find.

How are turkeys ever awake with all of that tryptophan in them?

‪Im doing crunches twice a day now. Captain in the in the morning and Nestle in the afternoon ‬