Funny Status Ideas

#17868
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Xyuppi
5 ants rented an apartment with another 5 ants. Now they're tenants.
#17867
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Xyuppi
I am humble enough to know I am replaceable at work. But I’m confident enough to know it would take 3 people.
I have a pet termite. I named him Clint. CLINT EATS WOOD
#17865
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UZI 9mm
This whole DOGE thing is getting out of hand, my wife just sent me an email asking me to list 5 things I’ve done around the house by midnight tonight.
I don’t need to watch the news to tell me how hard it’s going to snow, as I can always tell by how many loaves of bread are left on the shelf at the supermarket.
#17863
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Xyuppi
Someone threw a jar of Mayonnaise at me! I was like, What the Hellman!?
It's so cold, there's a line of chickens outside of KFC asking to use the deep fryer
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