Funny Status Ideas

My five year plan is to make it through this year.

I apologize for the coin shortage. I started a swear jar......

‪I’m glad this pandemic didn’t affect me financially. I was already broke.

If you are ugly with pretty eyes, this is your moment.

Always give 100% unless you are giving blood.

What's the correct ratio of gunpowder to essential oils? I want this bath bomb to be perfect.

You can't expect a President who slept with porn stars to care about infectious diseases.