Funny Status Ideas

I don't think it's fair that only roosters are allowed to start the day screaming.

Mansplaining is a correctile dysfunction.

The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine last night is now fully recovered.

Johnny Depp is the one guy that could've used an amber alert.

An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.

I just realized why this month it’s call May. It may rain, it may snow, it may be 70 degrees or it may be 20 degrees.

I read that low crab meals might help with my dyslexia.