Fresh Statuses

Technically, Humpty Dumpty died a crack head
Well, well, well… Welcome to stutter class.
I used to work at a fire hydrant factory. I couldn't park anywhere near the place
Adulthood is when 4:30am is early in the morning instead of late at night.
I have an irrational fear of speed bumps but, I’m slowly getting over it.
It's with a heavy heart that I announce...I have high cholesterol.
So many people are obsessed with vampires these days....who needs vampires when a mortgage and a job are enough to suck the life out of you.
Mosquitoes are basically just used, flying, dirty needles
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