Fresh Statuses

A German Shepherd named Rumor won the Westminster Dog Show. He will now be breed...aka spreading Rumors.
I want my tombstone to say "It didn't make me stronger."
Never go to bed angry. Stay up all night plotting revenge.
"Wife dragged me to this theater. Somebody shoot me." -Abraham Lincoln's last Tweet.
Don’t be ashamed of who you are. That’s your parents job.
Police officers are like spiders. I know they're useful to have around, but whenever I see one I get really nervous.
I bet Captain Crunch has some amazing abs.
Home sounds like a nice place, until they say they’re going to put you in one.
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