I bet Sean Connery only ever asked his wife to sit in his lap the one time.
I just removed my hard wood floor in my bedroom and found a beautiful carpet underneath.
I buy my condoms at Costco. When you go through them like I do, you need a place with a really good return policy.
I bought the world's worst thesaurus yesterday. Not only is it terrible, it's terrible.
If a vampire put a mirror in one side of a pair of glasses, they could see 360 degrees at one time.
Be careful out there! Today's the one day you're most likely to meet time travelers on a desperate mission from the future.
What thinks the unthinkable? An itheberg.
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