An airplane must be the scariest experience for someone with a peanut allergy.
Stalin should have known communism doesn't work. There were red flags everywhere.
The only time I've ever early to anything is when I'm dropping my kids off to be watched by somebody else.
Be careful out there! Today's the one day you're most likely to meet time travelers on a desperate mission from the future.
"Wife dragged me to this theater. Somebody shoot me." -Abraham Lincoln's last Tweet.
I have an L shaped couch... Lower case.
I'm convinced my electricity bill would disappear if my fridge had a window.
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