If you’re starting a sentence with “not to sound like a jerk,” guess what you’re going to sound like.
I finally learned how to sweep a woman off her feet. It only took me 5 years and $7,800 in Martial Arts lessons.
Velcro is a ripoff
Shout out to people who are hard of hearing.
I know you’re supposed to have 3 balanced meals a day, but how many can I have at night?
Not sure if I want buns of steel, or buns of cinnamon.
I haven't seen any new Bigfoot pictures in a while... I hope he's OK.
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