"Probiotic" sounds a lot better than "bacteria infested"
Aw cheer up Mike Pence. Getting booed isn't the worst thing to happen to a Republican at a theater.
If men could choose the gender of their unborn children, the human race would die out in a single generation, but we'd get a few decades of incredible football.
I never understood why the Lions and Cowboys always get to play on Thanksgiving. Shouldn’t the Patriots play the Redskins, and then steal their stadium?
BLACK FRIDAY: Because only in America do we trample each other for sales, just one day after being thankful for what we already have.
A few days ago, Stephen Hawking predicted the earth has 1000 years to survive. Where will Keith Richards go if that happens?
If my week was a YouTube video, Monday would be that crappy ad that it doesn't let you skip.
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