Funny

I'd like to test the theory that money can't buy you happiness.
Fitbits are just like Tamagotchis, except the stupid little creature you have to keep alive is yourself.
Eleanor Roosevelt once said "Do one thing every day that scares you" and that's why I weigh myself in the mornings.
The lyrics for "hush little baby" are basically saying "I will buy you anything if you just shut the hell up"
Sneezing is like using sonar to find polite people.
I always hit the "no receipt" button at the ATM because I don't need that negativity in my life.
#16563
Xyuppi
Every Scooby-Doo episode would literally be two minutes long if the gang went to the mask store first and asked a few questions.
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