Watching all these Hollywood people pretend they didn't know about Weinstein is some of the best acting they’ve done in years.
It's with a heavy heart that I announce...I have high cholesterol.
I have an irrational fear of speed bumps but, I’m slowly getting over it.
Adulthood is when 4:30am is early in the morning instead of late at night.
Technically, Humpty Dumpty died a crack head
The bouncer from my local nightclub calls me Macauley Culkin because I always go home alone.
Limbo champion walks into a bar...he's disqualified.
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