Funny

I need something that's more than coffee but less than cocaine.
Just burned 2000 calories. That's the last time I leave brownies in the oven while I take a nap.
#16636
Xyuppi
Imagine being naked in a room full of people who speak a different language and everyone wants to touch you. That is the life of a dog.
I got called pretty today! Well actually the full statement was "you're pretty annoying!" But I only focus on positive things
I googled "cigarette lighter" and got 150000 matches.
I’m not shy, I’m just really good out figuring out who is not worth talking to.
If you’re telling me to relax, it’s probably your fault that I’m not.
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