Fresh Statuses

#16190
Xyuppi
You don't truly know someone until you see how they react to their bag of chips getting stuck in a vending machine.
#16189
Xyuppi
Meat eaters and Vegetarians both love animals. They just love them in different ways.
#16188
Florida
Am I supposed to bring condoms to a speed dating event? How fast do these things actually go?
#16187
Xyuppi
When I’m at a restaurant I like to ask the waiter, “What’s your most frequently photographed entree?
#16186
Florida
I learn from the mistakes of people who took my advice.
#16185
Xyuppi
I was woken up again last night by the bulimic girl next door. I banged on the wall and shouted, "For God's sake, keep it down!"
#16184
Xyuppi
Oh, Schwarzenegger, you dog, you. You were a "Running Man" from your "True Lies" and your "Predator" ways will have you spending your "End of Days" with "Junior". Good thing it wasn't "Twins"......Your first mistake was going "Commando"
#16183
Xyuppi
It's impossible to look cool while holding onto a leash attached to a dog who is taking a crap.
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