Funny Status Ideas

Adulthood is like losing your mom in the grocery store for the rest of your life.
The bravest man in the world is the prince from Sleeping Beauty because waking up a tired woman can go sideways very fast.
If you ever wanted to use Starbucks wifi for hours and hours without buying anything, today is your lucky day.
At this point I'm just waiting for summer to be cancelled completely.
My face is a 4, my personality is a 6, so basically, I'm a 10.
Nobody talks about Jesus' biggest miracle of still having 12 close friends in his 30s
A bachelor party is a lot more appropriate after a divorce than before a wedding.
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